TRANSFORMATION (TRANSFORMATION)
It’s really hard to put into word the full extent to which Mississippi Teacher Corps has transformed me as not only a teacher, but also as an individual.
Beginning chronologically with summer school, as I reflect upon my time spent at Holly Springs, I feel the most valuable part of summer training consisted in simply seeing what strong, confident teachers look like. I’ve had many great teachers over the course of my lifetime, but they always seemed aloof in that they were singularly older than me. No doubt, I held them in extremely high regard, but I could never resonate with them on a truly personal level since the age, generational, and lifestyle differences were too significant an impasse to overcome. In contrast, the proximity of these factors in the pool of MTC second years and team teachers gave me a goal which seemed feasibly within reach. Seeing such confidence and adroitness in an individual with whom I could relate on multiple levels made it seem like I, too, could sometime soon be equally as adept as an educator. Furthermore, I was of the opinion that summer training was the opportune setting for seeing a myriad of unique teaching styles tailored to each individual’s distinct personality. This personally allowed me to quickly hone my skills as a novice teacher by modeling my teaching style after the ones I had seen from individuals who shared many similitudes with regards to my personality, goals, manners of speech and expression, and global approach to explaining something to someone either unwilling or unable to comprehend something being discussed. I have no qualms in asserting that for me not every second year or team teacher’s teaching style was apt. However, the manifest diversity of the individuals making up MTC makes it more than likely that there will be at least one person after whom one can model his or her teaching style.
If I had to envision something being added to MTC summer training, it would be mandatory group meetups for all students assigned to the same school. During my time there, I felt like I was left on my own to find other individuals who were heading to Clarksdale High School. Without a doubt, it would have been immensely valuable if we had a specific Clarksdale group meeting where the ins and outs of the area and school were discussed. This was especially felt as I arrived in Clarksdale for the first time mid-July to sign my contract. I honestly had no clue where anything was or where to even begin in this huge new city I was to call home for the next two years. I feel that a rendezvous headed by MTC second year and team teachers from Clarksdale would have benefited me markedly in terms of knowing such mundane things as where buildings were situated, where to take your car should it break down, and where to hang out on the weekend without inadvertently venturing into dangerous environs.
Beginning chronologically with summer school, as I reflect upon my time spent at Holly Springs, I feel the most valuable part of summer training consisted in simply seeing what strong, confident teachers look like. I’ve had many great teachers over the course of my lifetime, but they always seemed aloof in that they were singularly older than me. No doubt, I held them in extremely high regard, but I could never resonate with them on a truly personal level since the age, generational, and lifestyle differences were too significant an impasse to overcome. In contrast, the proximity of these factors in the pool of MTC second years and team teachers gave me a goal which seemed feasibly within reach. Seeing such confidence and adroitness in an individual with whom I could relate on multiple levels made it seem like I, too, could sometime soon be equally as adept as an educator. Furthermore, I was of the opinion that summer training was the opportune setting for seeing a myriad of unique teaching styles tailored to each individual’s distinct personality. This personally allowed me to quickly hone my skills as a novice teacher by modeling my teaching style after the ones I had seen from individuals who shared many similitudes with regards to my personality, goals, manners of speech and expression, and global approach to explaining something to someone either unwilling or unable to comprehend something being discussed. I have no qualms in asserting that for me not every second year or team teacher’s teaching style was apt. However, the manifest diversity of the individuals making up MTC makes it more than likely that there will be at least one person after whom one can model his or her teaching style.
If I had to envision something being added to MTC summer training, it would be mandatory group meetups for all students assigned to the same school. During my time there, I felt like I was left on my own to find other individuals who were heading to Clarksdale High School. Without a doubt, it would have been immensely valuable if we had a specific Clarksdale group meeting where the ins and outs of the area and school were discussed. This was especially felt as I arrived in Clarksdale for the first time mid-July to sign my contract. I honestly had no clue where anything was or where to even begin in this huge new city I was to call home for the next two years. I feel that a rendezvous headed by MTC second year and team teachers from Clarksdale would have benefited me markedly in terms of knowing such mundane things as where buildings were situated, where to take your car should it break down, and where to hang out on the weekend without inadvertently venturing into dangerous environs.
Conversely, if something had to be done away with, I would say it would have to be the tenacity of staying on campus for every given occasion. I loved pretty much all of the components which made up summer training and saw their overall necessity, but the whole experience would have been greatly improved had we done more mandatory academic and social activities around different parts of Mississippi. I understand the reasoning behind staying close to a home base and home school at which we could all train, but even so I felt at times that this program would have more aptly been named the Oxford Teacher Corps. It would have been great to have been able to accomplish everything that was already on agenda within a framework which made touring the entire state a required facet of the program. Viscerally, I regret knowing that I won’t truly know much of Mississippi outside of Clarksdale and Oxford since the onus was always on me to venture out on my free time.
Now, summer school aside, and despite my newly-accrued confidence, I still had much growing to do following summer school. By no means was I ready for teaching students at Clarksdale High School right after my eight- weeks’ worth of experiences at Holly Springs. For instance, before I embarked on my teaching journey, I first had to attend to the pressing matter of setting up my classroom so as to create a classroom setting conducive to learning. But wait! Before I could rush headfirst into the fray of setting up my classroom and getting ready to teach, I first had to prepare. Preparation is vital when I teach since it shows my students that I care about their academic success enough to give them every advantage possible to the point that only the effort they put into their work should determine their overall success in my class. Being prepared means my students' success will not be hindered because of any disadvantage I may place upon them due to a lack on my part of taking the necessary steps of ensuring their academic growth.
Looking back on it all, I remember feeling extremely excited to finally get the opportunity to meet my students for the first time. This to me really pushed the entire experience from the abstract realm to the concrete. Seeing that they’re all individuals with a unique story to tell, I yearned equally to get to know their personal aspirations and worldviews over the course of the year.
Now, summer school aside, and despite my newly-accrued confidence, I still had much growing to do following summer school. By no means was I ready for teaching students at Clarksdale High School right after my eight- weeks’ worth of experiences at Holly Springs. For instance, before I embarked on my teaching journey, I first had to attend to the pressing matter of setting up my classroom so as to create a classroom setting conducive to learning. But wait! Before I could rush headfirst into the fray of setting up my classroom and getting ready to teach, I first had to prepare. Preparation is vital when I teach since it shows my students that I care about their academic success enough to give them every advantage possible to the point that only the effort they put into their work should determine their overall success in my class. Being prepared means my students' success will not be hindered because of any disadvantage I may place upon them due to a lack on my part of taking the necessary steps of ensuring their academic growth.
Looking back on it all, I remember feeling extremely excited to finally get the opportunity to meet my students for the first time. This to me really pushed the entire experience from the abstract realm to the concrete. Seeing that they’re all individuals with a unique story to tell, I yearned equally to get to know their personal aspirations and worldviews over the course of the year.
At the same time, I remember fearing letting my students down by not teaching them to the utmost of my abilities or by not being a positive figure in their lives. Over the years, I've learned to endure disappointments directed towards myself, but I hoped to never become accustomed to letting others down with a feeling of moral impunity.
As my REACT survey from September 25, 2015 showed, I had a long way to go in terms of becoming the teacher I knew my students deserved.
One of the most transformative aspects of the teaching experience has entailed getting the mix of firmness and flexibility about right for creating the teaching atmosphere I so highly sought. I made sure to lay the law down hard upon any and all deviations from the classroom rules and procedures I enacted. Granted, this elicited many often whimsical, and sometimes serious, responses of “why you so mean?” and “you want us to die?”, but I ensured such outbursts of opinion had no bearing on the degree to which I would adhere to the rules I laid out. Although I’m far from a seasoned veteran when it comes to pedagogy, I nonetheless have decided to take the advice of my fellow preceptors who have suggested effecting the sagacious adage of “it’s better to loosen than to tighten as the year progresses.” With this in mind, I remind myself that the strictness I impose on them is ultimately for their own good and is in fact particularly beneficial to them during the first few weeks of school, as it makes manifest that it is I, and not the students, who will be dictating how the class is to be managed for the next nine months.
That being said, I made sure to show my human side to the proper degree by telling them about my upbringing, likes, dislikes, passions, and visions when it was appropriate to do so. This, I feel, enabled them to relate much better to me as a person since I detect – at least at the visceral level – that they now see me as an individual worthy of respect and not solely as an almost robotic, soulless teaching machine. It is my sincere wish that I can maintain this delicate equilibrium of strictness to flexibility over the next nine months. In particular, I hope to never react too stringently when the students choose to misbehave egregiously. Conversely, I hope never to get too friendly with my students as I get to know them progressively better every day as individuals over the course of the school year.
In terms of how my expectations deviated from what truly occurred, I would say that one of the biggest –and most transformative - surprises came when I discovered just how many students were content with not attending college. I always envisioned only a tiny minority of the students would wish to limit their career potential by opting out of college, but it never dawned on me that huge swaths of the student population choose not to even bother applying to college in the first place. Before Mississippi Teacher Corps, I would have been shocked that so many students would want to stay trapped in a cycle of poverty created in large part by not pursuing a higher education, knowing full-well that they could attend college if they put forth the necessary effort. The vast majority of these students have seen and felt chronic poverty, so it used to astound me that so many of them would choose to not do everything humanly possible to avoid such an outcome, if given the opportunity. Always keeping this close to heart, I knew that as a teacher in a critical needs area I needed to continuously check the state of my mind to ensure I was making a genuine effort never to succumb to the crippling thoughts of cynicism, at best, and fatalism, at worst.
My follow-up REACT survey from November 11, 2015 solidified the idea that teaching as a process of continuous improvement. I don't think being a perfect teacher - or individual for that matter - may ever be possible, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't strive for perfection.
All in all, deep musings and life-changing experiences such as these are what truly made my Mississippi Teacher Corps years so profoundly transformative at all levels of my development.